Parents Building Emotional Intelligence in their Children

In her book on Building Emotional Intelligence, Linda Lantieri discusses John Gottman’s research that encourages parents to become an emotional coach for their children. This means that parents use opportunities presented by difficult or hurtful emotions, such as when a child has had an argument or experiences disappointment, to explore the true nature of those feelings. Parents can encourage children to use feeling words to express their emotions, such as “I feel sad” or “that made me angry”. Children need ample opportunity to explore their emotional landscape with the caring adults in their life. The research also encourages parents to give children a regular time to be in stillness. This can help children to slow down and also gives them the opportunity to explore their feelings and grow emotionally. According to Lantieri, parents can help strengthen their children’s core by encouraging them to honour silence, self-reflection and going within. This can then become a life time habit for the child.

Another practical way that parents can help their children is to encourage them to use their time better and to help them become a more organised student. This term, student across the Middle College have had a number of assignments due. Those students who used a planner or calendar were able to keep track of due dates. When discussing home study and assignments with your child, it helps to encourage them to prioritise and identify:

• What needs to be done now;
• What needs to be done soon; and
• What can be left until later.

If parents encourage children to approach assignments in an organised way they will have a better chance of finishing the assignment in a detailed way and on time.

Mr Brendan Delaney, Director of Students